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Fantasy » alt.fan.pratchett » [I] Birthdays!!!!
| [I] Birthdays!!!! [message #288175] |
Fr, 16 Juni 2006 04:57 |
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(Max, a handsome Sable ferret, is laying in his hammock, peacefully snoozing
away. Watching him are Paul; Murphy, another handsome Sable, dressed in a
vaguely futuristic uniform, with an "H" on his forehead; and Sammy, a
Dark-Eyed White wearing a boxy skullcap.)
Paul (softly): You know, we've got a birthday salute today, but I really
hate to wake him.
Murphy: Quite true, sir. He was up real late last night watching a
science-fiction Britcom that he enjoys. I watched a little of it before
turning in - pretty good, actually.
(Max makes some noises in his sleep.)
Sammy: Sometimes I wonder what he dreams about.
Paul (thoughtfully): Probably about walking again.
Murphy: Very likely - at least he still has his dreams.
###################
(The scene switches to Max's dream. He is dressed in a flashy suit and
proceeds to sing and dance a nifty little number with Murphy and Sammy as
backup.)
Max:
When I saw you for the first time, (Murphy and Sammy: first time)
My knees began to quiver. ("quiver")
And I got a funny feeling ("feeling")
In my kidneys and my liver. ("digestive system baby")
My hands they started shakin'. ("shakin'")
My heart began a-thumpin'. ("boom, boom, boom")
My breakfast left my body. ("huey, huey, huey")
Now darlin' tell me something:
Why do you make me tongue tied, ("tongue tied") tongue tied,
Whenever you are near me? ("near me")
Tied tongue, ("tied tongue)
Tied tongue, ("tied tongue)
Whenever you're in town, ("in town")
You make me feel a clown, girl.
Yes you make me tongue-tongue, ("tied-tied") tongue tied.
Why can't I tell you clearly? ("clearly")
Tied-tied, tongue-tongue, ("tongue tied, tongue tied")
Whenever you're around.
I saw you 'cross the dance floor. ("dancin'")
I thought of birds and bees. ("reproductive system baby")
But when I tried to speak to ya, ("talk, talk")
My tongue unravelled to my knees. ("flippety-flippety-flop")
I tried to say "I love you"! ("love you")
But it came out kind of wrong, girl. ("wrong girl")
It sounded like "min-oo-bitty-boo" ("tongue tied")
Na-nee-ner-ner-nee-nung-nirl!
That's 'cause you make me tongue tied, ("tongue tied") tongue tied,
Whenever you are near me! ("near me")
I'm nurmy-murmy ("nurmy-murmy")
Murmy-nurmy ("nurmy-murmy")
Whenever you're in town, ("in town")
My trousers they go brown, girl!
Yes, you make me nongy-nangy, ("nangy-nongy") tongue tied!
Why can't I tell you clearly? ("clearly")
Be-dobby-durgle, dobby-durgle ("tongue tied, tongue tied")
Whenever you're around!
Oh, I'm beggin' on my knees.
Sweet, sweet darling listen please.
Understand me when I say:
Bedurble-diggle-doggle-dooby-foggle-nibble-nay!
I'm tryin' to say I'm tongue tied, ("tongue tied") tongue tied,
Whenever you are near me! ("really!")
I'm nurmy-murmy ("nurmy-murmy")
Murmy-nurmy ("murmy-nurmy")
Whenever you're in town, ("in town")
I drool so much I drown, girl!
Yes, you make me nungy-nangy ("nangy-nungy") ningy-nungy
Why can't I tell you clearly? ("clearly")
Ge-dobby-durgle ("dobby-durgle")
Durgle-dobby ("durgle-dobby")
Whenever you're around ("around")
Whenever you're around, girl!
(With a loud snort, Max wakes up. He looks groggily at Paul, Murphy and
Sammy, and shakes his head.)
Max: Oh, smeg, we've got a birthday salute to do, don't we? And here I sleep
late and foul things up. I'm sorry, guys!
Paul: That's okay, friend. You have a nice dream?
Max: Pretty good, yeah. I'm awake now, though, so are we ready?
Murphy: Just about. Here come the Skippys with the Cannon now.
(Skippy, Skippy, Skippy, Skippy, Skippy and Skippy, dressed in flashy
costumes as showgirls, push the vintage Civil War cannon into position.)
Paul: On my mark, then. Ready... aim... FIRE!
*BOOOOOOMMM!!*
*WHOOOOOOOOSSSHHHH!!!!*
(The charge soars to altitude, explodes and showers alt.fan.pratchett with
streamers, confetti, balloons and the new vindaloo-flavored M&Ms. A large
banner floats down beneath parachutes: HAPPY BIRTHDAYS TO ERIC JARVIS, MIKE
KNELL, TOM MAY, DARBY, CHRIS HOPKIN, GIZELLE, KEVIN MURRAY, TOM JOYCE, PENNY
PARKIN, FISH, JUSTIN, JOHN TATCHELL, RICHARD BOS, ELAINE CHARLSON, OWEN
EVANS, ORIN THOMAS, GOTHIC ALEX PAGE AND ANYONE ELSE FROM THE SECOND HALF OF
JUNE THAT WE'RE FORGETTING! IF YOU WANT TO GET ON THE BIRTHDAY LIST, SEND
THE RELEVANT INFORMATION TO birthdays [at] lspace.org !)
Paul: Enjoy your birthdays, folsk.
(The Skippy showgirls begin to sing the theme song to the classic
science-fiction TV series.)
"It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere,
I'm all alone, more or less,
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.
"I want to lie shipwrecked and comotose,
Drinking fresh mango juice,
Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun."
Paul
"Tongue Tied", lyrics by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor
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| Re: [I] Birthdays!!!! [message #288260 ] |
Fr, 16 Juni 2006 10:49 |
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Paul E. Jamison pjamison2 [at] cox.net wrote in
<66pkg.7435$f76.3294 [at] dukeread06>:
>
> Enjoy your birthdays, folsk.
>
Thanks. I enjoyed that. It made for a good start to the day.
--
eric
www.ericjarvis.co.uk
all these years I've waited for the revolution
and all we end up getting is spin
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| Re: [I] Birthdays!!!! [message #288305 ] |
Fr, 16 Juni 2006 12:35 |
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The time: 16 Jun 2006. The place: alt.fan.pratchett. The
speaker: "Paul E. Jamison" <pjamison2 [at] cox.net>
> (Skippy, Skippy, Skippy, Skippy, Skippy and Skippy, dressed
> in flashy costumes as showgirls, push the vintage Civil War
> cannon into position.)
Stoke it up, Skippy, we'll be back for breakfast!
Or something...
--
Dave
Official Absentee of EU Skiffeysoc
http://www.eusa.ed.ac.uk/societies/sesoc
Suggs against sexism. It's Madness gone
politically correct.
Jon Holmes, The Now Show 26/5/06
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| Re: [I] Birthdays!!!! [message #288325 ] |
Fr, 16 Juni 2006 14:16 |
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"Paul E. Jamison" <pjamison2 [at] cox.net> wrote in message
news:66pkg.7435$f76.3294 [at] dukeread06...
(reluctant snippage)
>
> (The charge soars to altitude, explodes and showers alt.fan.pratchett with
> streamers, confetti, balloons and the new vindaloo-flavored M&Ms. A large
> banner floats down beneath parachutes: HAPPY BIRTHDAYS TO ERIC JARVIS,
> MIKE KNELL, TOM MAY, DARBY, CHRIS HOPKIN, GIZELLE, KEVIN MURRAY, TOM
> JOYCE, PENNY PARKIN, FISH, JUSTIN, JOHN TATCHELL, RICHARD BOS, ELAINE
> CHARLSON, OWEN EVANS, ORIN THOMAS, GOTHIC ALEX PAGE AND ANYONE ELSE FROM
> THE SECOND HALF OF JUNE THAT WE'RE FORGETTING! IF YOU WANT TO GET ON THE
> BIRTHDAY LIST, SEND THE RELEVANT INFORMATION TO birthdays [at] lspace.org !)
>
> Paul: Enjoy your birthdays, folsk.
Hippo Birdbath One and All
I recognise a few - Eric and Richard most notably ;-)
>
> (The Skippy showgirls begin to sing the theme song to the classic
> science-fiction TV series.)
>
> "It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere,
> I'm all alone, more or less,
> Let me fly, far away from here,
> Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun.
>
> "I want to lie shipwrecked and comotose,
> Drinking fresh mango juice,
> Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,
> Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
> Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun."
>
Ssirienna
Smoke me a kipper - I'll be back for breakfast ;-))
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| Re: [I] Birthdays!!!! [message #288409 ] |
Fr, 16 Juni 2006 18:44 |
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On Thu, 15 Jun 2006 21:57:10 -0500, "Paul E. Jamison" <pjamison2 [at] cox.net>
wrote:
[Most reluctantly snipped]
I always enjoy the birthday salutes, Paul. That's got to be one of my
favourites thus far
>HAPPY BIRTHDAYS TO ERIC JARVIS,
Happy Birthday Eric. Have A Good One
--
Andrew Nevill B.F. D.W. FdV. Reply address: anevill [at] btopenworld.com
AFPWorshipper to Spooky, AFPfiance to Sarah (Nanny Ogg) & A********.
AFPUncle to James Vaughan. You cannot value friends as pennies,
nor can you replace them as easily (Spooky in email, Aug 2001.)
Discworld Convention 2006. 18 - 26 Aug 2006 Hinckley Island Hotel
Hinckley, UK www.dwcon.org
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| Re: [I] Birthdays!!!! [message #288632 ] |
Sa, 17 Juni 2006 02:24 |
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"Paul E. Jamison" <pjamison2 [at] cox.net> wrote:
> (The charge soars to altitude, explodes and showers alt.fan.pratchett with
> streamers, confetti, balloons and the new vindaloo-flavored M&Ms.
Ooh, I want some of those!
> Paul: Enjoy your birthdays, folsk.
Thank you, sir. But "folsk"? It that folk, but Norse?
Richard
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| Re: [I] Birthdays!!!! [message #290111 ] |
Fr, 23 Juni 2006 22:15 |
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Paul E. Jamison wrote:
(snip Red Dwarf birthdays salute)
Good one Paul :-)
CCA
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